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Leave A Message For Macho + Androids


As you may have seen on our Twitter or Facebook pages, we have recently set up a voice mailbox that you can call to leave your thoughts, questions, prayers, praise for our Macho Messiah or anything else you may want to say. You can call it at 1(405)25MACHO. That's 1-405-256-2246 . The number is based on a Oklahoma area code, so long distance rates may apply. I may end up using the messages on the site in one form or another. Also, please forgive your Pastor's pathetic attempt at a Savage Savior impression on the greeting. As I have previously stated, I lack our Lord's booming vocal capabilities. 

Also, in phone related news, a parishioner of the congregation is currently working on a MachoChurch Android app and it's almost in alpha. Still trying to figure out what kind of features to add to it. If you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments or even the aforementioned voice mailbox. I will let you know when the app hit's the Android Marketplace so you can snap into The Madness on your smartphone!

Macho Love, Evil and Suffering

In light of recent current events, some have voiced questions about The Macho Man's goodness, His presence, or His power. They ask "If The Macho Man is all-powerful and loves us, why doesn't he do something about all the tragedies in the world?"

One Hulkamaniac skeptic even suggests that if we are going to thank The Savage in the Sky for sparing the lives of those who were not killed in the recent floods, tornadoes, etc., then we should also thank Hitler or Osama Bin Laden for not killing those they spare. This blasphemer has once again created a man in his own image, a straw man that is. To compare the motivations of evil men to the love and wisdom of our Macho Messiah is ridiculous and undeserving of further comment.

We can rest assured that whatever The Macho Man does, it is best. He sees our existence from a different perspective than we see it. He knows all circumstances and how every action and event affects the future. What we view as an accident or tragedy, The Savage Savior is able to use for His good.

Saint Punk's Amazing Sermon

I'll admit it. Aside from the fact that it involves our church's first Saint, this really has nothing to do with praising our Lord or spreading Macho Madness. But, it's just too damn good to NOT mention.

Only our Macho Messiah himself could have given a better sermon.


Also, in related news, it is being reported that the production guy who cut Punk's mic mysteriously  passed away today. He was found dead in his backyard with an indention approximately the size of an elbow in his chest. We'll keep you posted when we find out more details.

Macho Church Bumper Stickers Have Arrived! Order Yours Today!


Unlike other religious institutions, we do not ask you to tithe 10% of your income. However, you can both support the church and spread the word of Macho Madness by purchasing and proudly displaying your very own Macho Church bumper stickers. These stickers are high quality, weather-proof, vinyl decals made by the fine folks over at Decal Ninja. Not the cheap crap you'll find on other sites.

First decal is $3, $2 for each additional decal in the same order. Shipping is included if you live in the U.S. $1 extra for Canada/UK. Contact me at machochurch@yahoo.com for other locations. If you are in the US, you can order using the Paypal or Google Checkout buttons below. International orders please email me first for final total.

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Macho Prayer of Mother Teresa


Dear Macho, Help us spread your Madness everywhere we go, flood our souls with your Spirit and life.
Penetrate, yeah, and possess our whole being so utterly that our lives may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through us and be so in us that every soul in the arena may feel your presence in our soul.
Let them look up and see no longer us, but only The Macho Man.
Stay with us and then we shall begin to shine as you shine, one shining star in the night, shining brighter than all the other ones. 
The light, O Macho, will be all from you. None of it will be ours.
It will be you spreading Madness to others through us.
Let us thus praise you in the way you love best by spreading Madness to those around us.
Let us preach you without preaching, not by words, but by our example.
 By the force of your falling elbow, the sympathetic influence of what we do,
the evident fullness of the love our hearts bear to you.
OHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Crazy Coincidence? Or Something More?

By now, you've probably heard about the death of Jackass' Ryan Dunn. While a lot can be learned from this tragedy, it is still a hard pill to swallow for fans of the series. However, if you look a little deeper, you'll find some similarities to the Macho One's earthly passing.

First off, the obvious, they both died in car accidents. While the Macho Man, being infallible in every way, was not responsible for his crash, it is important to note. Oddly enough, both accidents happened on the 20th of their respective month. (May for Mach, June for Dunn.) Also, both men were reckless rebels who often wore wild unkempt beards.

Is this all just coincidence? Or is it a sign? I'm beginning to think that maybe The Almighty Savage wanted a court jester for his Heavenly Macho Kingdom, while wanting to teach us all a lesson about personal responsibility at the same time. 

Image courtesy : Where's Randy Savage.


PUNK WINS! PUNK WINS! PUNK WINS!

After hours of debate and deliberation and after taking your thoughts into consideration, the Church has deemed that CM Punk is indeed worthy of becoming the first Saint of  The Intercontinental Church of "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

So by the power invested in me, I hereby proclaim thee Saint CM of Punk, Patron Saint of Straight Edge! So give yourself a round of applause, you deserve it!


And if you liked his previous tributes to our Lord, just wait until Money in the Bank! After Punk defeats the vile John Cena and captures the WWE Championship, word is he plans to have it embedded into the alter of our holy establishment for eternity as a sacrifice to the Macho One himself. DIGGIT!

White House Releases Photo Proving Osama Bin Laden's Death

We normally don't let politics meet the pulpit here at The ICCoMMRS, but we're going to make an exception in this case. Our friends over at Where's Randy Savage have received a photo straight from The White House that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Osama Bin Ladin is dead.  



That's right folks, before he left Earth on May 20 and before he saved us all from the rapture the following day, (NEVER FORGET!) The Macho Man saw fit to take out the world's biggest piece of terrorist scum and make Earth a safer and more prosperous place. There is truly no questioning the honor and power of The Madness.

Mocking The Macho Man and Its Consequences


Hulkamaniacs and even the occasional Warrior will try to say that this whole "Rapture" thing never happened and make mocking bodyslams directed toward those who believe in The Madness. However, these unbelievers are treading into the danger zone in the grand scheme of things according to God's Word, The Book of Madness. The Macho Man himself delivered a clear and pointed warning to anyone who leads someone away from him or causes them to stumble.

"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy milestone hung around his neck, he had been piledriven into the sea." (NO REFEREE! 9:42)

The Macho Man is saying that it would be better for a person to pinned with the eternal one-two-three count than that person to be a hindrance to anyone seeking him. Whether that verse is metaphoric, literal, hyperbolic or something else, is irrelevant. When The Macho Man himself issues a warning, it makes sense to take heed. He will be the one to judge each and every one of us. It is his right.

Poll : Should CM Punk Be Sainted?


Ever since The Macho Man left us here on Earth, one man has continued to use his spot on the WWE roster to pay homage to our Lord and Savior. At Over The Limit, Punk attempted a holy elbow drop. The following night on Raw, he donned the old school pink star tights. His tributes continued on this week's episode of Raw, when Punk leaped from the top rope onto John Cena on the outside with a very Macho double axe handle.

Are these tributes enough to warrant sainthood? Or has Punk not yet sacrificed enough? What say you? Hit the poll below to weigh in. After a week or so, I'll tally everything up and make a final decision.



Should CM Punk be named the first Saint of The Macho Church?
Yes, his tributes have been a great honor to our Lord's name.
No, he has not yet made a big enough sacrifice to be given that honor.


  
pollcode.com free polls

POLLS ARE CLOSED! Expect an official Church announcement soon.

The Formation Of The Mega Powers



Dial M for Macho Madness

Strolled across this on ye ole Youtubes. I watched a lot of Dexter's Laboratory back in the day, but I don't remember this. It's not only another example of animated awesomeness featuring our Macho Messiah, but it also displays just how much power he wields. DIGGIT!



(If you liked that you will probably enjoy this as well.)

Apostle Lanny Talks About His Brother's Earthly Death, A Bunch of Other Stuff

Apostle Lanny recently appeared on Some Dude's Late Night Sports Review Show. It starts with a very candid discussion of his brother's earthly demise, but then goes on to cover other topics such as the Macho Man's early WWF days, Elizabeth, Spider-Man, his recent re-marriage and more. The interviewer actually seemed pretty knowledgeable about wrestling and not an elitist douche like most mainstream sports guys (Who aren't Bill Simmons) are when it comes to reporting wrestling. Definitely worth checking out.

Macho Redentor

Hulkimaniacs Aren't Equipped to Evaluate the Madness

Hulkimaniacs often put themselves in the position of judging The Macho Man. As if he should act the way they think he should. Armed with a distorted and hostile misunderstanding of the Book of Madness, they proceed to tear down something they obviously know little about.

The questions they raise are not new. They have been raised and answered many times before. Anyone who is interested in knowing the truth will have no difficulty finding powerful answers to the straw men Hulkimaniacs continue to construct. However, those who are looking for an excuse to ignore The Macho Man's call will be content to swallow the misstatements, misunderstandings and distortions these non-believers continuously produce.

Promotional Consideration Provided By The Following...


Every time you buy something from Amazon, come here first and use this link here or the handy search widget on the right side of the page, above the blog archive. Every time you do so, the congregation gets a small cut of your purchase. You have the exact same shopping experience and you help us at the same time. Plus they have just about EVERYTHING.

This weeks featured item : 
The Very Best of WCW Monday Nitro

Macho's Main Events



The fine folks over at Wrestlespective have been doing a series of podcasts reminiscing about some of Macho Madness' biggest matches entitled Macho's Main Events. So far there have been two, one discussing the Mega Powers vs. The Mega Bucks from the first Summerslam and another one covering the Slamboree 1995 match between Savage and Hogan vs. Flair and Vader in WCW.

So far I have only listened to the Sunnerslam ep, but I'm willing to give this series the ICCoMMRS seal of approval. Hope they do some more episodes.

The Heart of The Madness


The Macho King is perched upon his throne, yeah. He sees all, yes all the works of iniquity. He hears all the careless thrown words as swords, spears and arrows and sharp edges indeed, that pierce our very souls to the core. Such are the description of weaponry are words that come forth from many mouths about us, yeah.

The Macho Man spoke of the Warriors and the Hulkimaniacs and indeed many other men that indeed the mouth a deep vault of evil goes right down to the heart, diggit! The heart is deceitful above all else but the Macho Lord sees all and hears all.

Two things can happen when someone speaks, either your soul will be comforted or pierced with the pain of a flying elbow drop. The words will either try to kill and destroy or bind up and heal. He is either with the Madness or against Him. The Macho Man's words bring life, health and wholeness in abundance, an abundance to bring forth joy and a well of living waters. Words spoken from people full of the Madness will copy the pathway of The Macho Man. The Madness will bring comfort to both strong and weak men. OHHHHHH YEEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!

Youtubes and Thank Yous

Was watching vintage clips of the Savage savior's WWF heyday on Youtube and came across this sweet remix of one of his more famous promos.



Speaking of Youtube, we now have a channel over there. Not only does it have the few original videos from the site, but in the favorites section, you'll find tons of vintage Macho Man promos and matches that others have uploaded. (With more being added all the time.) So check that out.

Finally, wanted to send a quick shout out/thank you to The Wresting Blog, who did a nice little article on our page/Twitter account. The guys over there do an excellent job covering all the latest out of WWE and TNA as well as several indy promotions, so check them out as well. Also, thank you to EVERY ONE who has helped to spread the word of our site. Your re-tweets/mentions on Twitter, likes/shares on Facebook, emails, IMs, ect. have really helped our congregation's goal in spreading Macho Madness across the world! KEEP IT UP! OHHHHHHH YYYEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Bootprints



One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was sitting ringside with the Lord
and inside the ring flashed matches from my life.
In each match, I noticed two sets of boot prints.
One belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last fight of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the boot prints in the ring.
I noticed that many times throughout my road to Wrestlemania,
there was only one set of bootprints.
I also noticed that it happened during the very lowest
and saddest times
This really pissed me off so I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me A MILLION PERCENT!
but I have noticed that when I was jobbing on Superstars
there is only one set of boot prints.
I don't understand why you leave me hanging
when I need to make the hot tag!"
The Lord replied, "OHHHHHHHH no,
you got it alllllll wrong, yeah,
this is way it isssss,
 i was with you when it happened,
The past, the present, and the future,
all together at the same time
and we're all gonna climb
that mountain together
and we are togehter for ever.
And when you saw only one set of boot prints in the ring,
it is when I carried you!
Just like I carried Hogan and Warrior, OHHHHH YEEEEAAAHHH!"

The Madness works in mysterious ways, DONT QUESTION IT!!