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Merry Machmas!



Today is the day, folks. The day we honor and celebrate the birth of our Lord. Hopefully Macho Claus snapped into your chimney and brought you everything you could possibly want. (If he didn't, you have no one to blame but yourself for only true followers of the Madness receive a visit.) Hope you all have a chance to gather with your families and loved ones and reminisce about your favorite Macho memories. I plan on watching the Macho Madness Collection and snapping into as many Slim Jims as humanly possible.

Oh, oh, OHHHHH YEAAAAHHH!!! Merry Machmas!

Machmas is Only Two Months Away!


The holiest of holy days in the Savage Calendar is vastly approaching us. In exactly 2 months, November 15, we observe the birth day of our Lord with the Savage Celebration of Machmas.

So now might be a good time to start buying gifts for all the Macho Maniacs in your life. (Cheap Plug : MachoChurch Bumper Stickers make excellent Savage Stocking Stuffers.) However, don't get too caught up in the over-commercialization of our sacred holiday. Never forget the true meaning of the Savage Season, bring good tidings of Madness and Joy to all around.

OHHHHHHH YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Snap Into The Holy Video Vault!


We are proud to introduce a new feature on the site. The MachoChurch.com Holy Video Vault. Featuring hours upon hours of promos, matches, tributes and other forms of Macho Madness. So if thou art bored or seeking the wisdom of our Lord, SNAP INTO IT!

Time To Lay The Hammer Down (And Out)



On September 3rd, the Great North Wrestling promotion, out of Hawkesbury, Ontario, ran a tribute show for our Macho Messiah. The main event was slated to be WWE Hall of Famer Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vs The Holy Genius Himself, Apostle Lanny. However, "The Hammer", who got his nickname because his face looks like it was hit with one over and over again, decided to no-show the event.


Apostle Lanny is understandably pissed, going so far as calling Valentine a "mangina" and challenging him to a legit MMA match in a recent YouTube video. The video, posted after the break, also includes comments made by Valentine both promoting the event and a very disrespectful voicemail left for the promoter of the event, as well as some remarks from said promoter, who wrestles under the name Hannibal. 

A Message to The "Big Man"



Our Macho Messiah has issued the following statement.

"A real man handles his own business. He doesn't send his son to do his dirty work. Last time I saw your son he turned the other cheek right into my flying elbow! DIGGIT!. That makes ME the new Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the UNIVERSE! You want a piece of me, Big Man, BRING IT! I'll take you on any time, any place and then, yes, then all your believers will have no choice but to admit that you have greatly exaggerated your powers. In the end  it will be the light of Macho Madness that will triumphantly shine bigger and brighter than all the other ones over all of existence. OHHHHH YEAAAAHHH!"

God was unavailable for comment. Per usual.

And Now, Here To Recite A Poem. Apostle Lanny

Shine on me Lord Macho.
Shine your brightness on to me.
Shine until your amazing glory,
is all the eye can see.

Shine on me Lord Macho.
Shine your power on to me.
Shine until your Savage strength,
inflames your spirit into me.

Shine on me your wonder.
Shine on me your delight.
Shine until your splendor washes
over me in all your Macho light.

Shine on me Lord Macho,
Shine down upon me.
Shine until the Macho Madness
takes complete control of me.
OHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Amen.

A Macho Walk



"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Savage 16:33

Early in my Macho walk of faith, I believed that once I surrendered to The Madness, my life would somehow be free of troubles. We all know that to be very far from the truth. The Macho Man said clearly that we will face troubles in life but do not fear, He has overcome the world. What does that mean to the faithful? Don't expect the narrow path to be smooth and free of painful experiences. That really doesn't sound very inviting does it? Here is what makes his Savage plan for us so perfect. We would never be able to truly enjoy the happiness of life if we never knew the sorrows.

Our journey in life forges us into the perfect image of The Macho Messiah himself. He knows that with trials, we will experience the sweetest times of life to the fullest. It is difficult to imagine this while we are in the middle of a difficult time, but stay strong! Our hearts and souls are spoken for by The Madness! He will be in our corner every step of our journey.


"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Madness 11:1

It is faith that will sustain us in times of need. Look past the immediate stress of a negative situation and be confident that The Macho Man is using the moment to make us more courageous, wise, and strong. Rejoice the next time we face trials because we are assured that The Madness has overcome all earthly troubles. It is His power at work in us! Rejoice and live in righteous confidence!

Alone one person's determination can accomplish great things, but when the faithful unite in true oneness of body, mind, and soul for the express purpose of serving The Macho Mand and His children, we can achieve the unimaginable!

Leave A Message For Macho + Androids


As you may have seen on our Twitter or Facebook pages, we have recently set up a voice mailbox that you can call to leave your thoughts, questions, prayers, praise for our Macho Messiah or anything else you may want to say. You can call it at 1(405)25MACHO. That's 1-405-256-2246 . The number is based on a Oklahoma area code, so long distance rates may apply. I may end up using the messages on the site in one form or another. Also, please forgive your Pastor's pathetic attempt at a Savage Savior impression on the greeting. As I have previously stated, I lack our Lord's booming vocal capabilities. 

Also, in phone related news, a parishioner of the congregation is currently working on a MachoChurch Android app and it's almost in alpha. Still trying to figure out what kind of features to add to it. If you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments or even the aforementioned voice mailbox. I will let you know when the app hit's the Android Marketplace so you can snap into The Madness on your smartphone!

Macho Love, Evil and Suffering

In light of recent current events, some have voiced questions about The Macho Man's goodness, His presence, or His power. They ask "If The Macho Man is all-powerful and loves us, why doesn't he do something about all the tragedies in the world?"

One Hulkamaniac skeptic even suggests that if we are going to thank The Savage in the Sky for sparing the lives of those who were not killed in the recent floods, tornadoes, etc., then we should also thank Hitler or Osama Bin Laden for not killing those they spare. This blasphemer has once again created a man in his own image, a straw man that is. To compare the motivations of evil men to the love and wisdom of our Macho Messiah is ridiculous and undeserving of further comment.

We can rest assured that whatever The Macho Man does, it is best. He sees our existence from a different perspective than we see it. He knows all circumstances and how every action and event affects the future. What we view as an accident or tragedy, The Savage Savior is able to use for His good.

Saint Punk's Amazing Sermon

I'll admit it. Aside from the fact that it involves our church's first Saint, this really has nothing to do with praising our Lord or spreading Macho Madness. But, it's just too damn good to NOT mention.

Only our Macho Messiah himself could have given a better sermon.


Also, in related news, it is being reported that the production guy who cut Punk's mic mysteriously  passed away today. He was found dead in his backyard with an indention approximately the size of an elbow in his chest. We'll keep you posted when we find out more details.

Macho Church Bumper Stickers Have Arrived! Order Yours Today!


Unlike other religious institutions, we do not ask you to tithe 10% of your income. However, you can both support the church and spread the word of Macho Madness by purchasing and proudly displaying your very own Macho Church bumper stickers. These stickers are high quality, weather-proof, vinyl decals made by the fine folks over at Decal Ninja. Not the cheap crap you'll find on other sites.

First decal is $3, $2 for each additional decal in the same order. Shipping is included if you live in the U.S. $1 extra for Canada/UK. Contact me at machochurch@yahoo.com for other locations. If you are in the US, you can order using the Paypal or Google Checkout buttons below. International orders please email me first for final total.

Paypal



Google Checkout

Macho Prayer of Mother Teresa


Dear Macho, Help us spread your Madness everywhere we go, flood our souls with your Spirit and life.
Penetrate, yeah, and possess our whole being so utterly that our lives may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through us and be so in us that every soul in the arena may feel your presence in our soul.
Let them look up and see no longer us, but only The Macho Man.
Stay with us and then we shall begin to shine as you shine, one shining star in the night, shining brighter than all the other ones. 
The light, O Macho, will be all from you. None of it will be ours.
It will be you spreading Madness to others through us.
Let us thus praise you in the way you love best by spreading Madness to those around us.
Let us preach you without preaching, not by words, but by our example.
 By the force of your falling elbow, the sympathetic influence of what we do,
the evident fullness of the love our hearts bear to you.
OHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Crazy Coincidence? Or Something More?

By now, you've probably heard about the death of Jackass' Ryan Dunn. While a lot can be learned from this tragedy, it is still a hard pill to swallow for fans of the series. However, if you look a little deeper, you'll find some similarities to the Macho One's earthly passing.

First off, the obvious, they both died in car accidents. While the Macho Man, being infallible in every way, was not responsible for his crash, it is important to note. Oddly enough, both accidents happened on the 20th of their respective month. (May for Mach, June for Dunn.) Also, both men were reckless rebels who often wore wild unkempt beards.

Is this all just coincidence? Or is it a sign? I'm beginning to think that maybe The Almighty Savage wanted a court jester for his Heavenly Macho Kingdom, while wanting to teach us all a lesson about personal responsibility at the same time. 

Image courtesy : Where's Randy Savage.


PUNK WINS! PUNK WINS! PUNK WINS!

After hours of debate and deliberation and after taking your thoughts into consideration, the Church has deemed that CM Punk is indeed worthy of becoming the first Saint of  The Intercontinental Church of "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

So by the power invested in me, I hereby proclaim thee Saint CM of Punk, Patron Saint of Straight Edge! So give yourself a round of applause, you deserve it!


And if you liked his previous tributes to our Lord, just wait until Money in the Bank! After Punk defeats the vile John Cena and captures the WWE Championship, word is he plans to have it embedded into the alter of our holy establishment for eternity as a sacrifice to the Macho One himself. DIGGIT!

White House Releases Photo Proving Osama Bin Laden's Death

We normally don't let politics meet the pulpit here at The ICCoMMRS, but we're going to make an exception in this case. Our friends over at Where's Randy Savage have received a photo straight from The White House that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Osama Bin Ladin is dead.  



That's right folks, before he left Earth on May 20 and before he saved us all from the rapture the following day, (NEVER FORGET!) The Macho Man saw fit to take out the world's biggest piece of terrorist scum and make Earth a safer and more prosperous place. There is truly no questioning the honor and power of The Madness.

Mocking The Macho Man and Its Consequences


Hulkamaniacs and even the occasional Warrior will try to say that this whole "Rapture" thing never happened and make mocking bodyslams directed toward those who believe in The Madness. However, these unbelievers are treading into the danger zone in the grand scheme of things according to God's Word, The Book of Madness. The Macho Man himself delivered a clear and pointed warning to anyone who leads someone away from him or causes them to stumble.

"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy milestone hung around his neck, he had been piledriven into the sea." (NO REFEREE! 9:42)

The Macho Man is saying that it would be better for a person to pinned with the eternal one-two-three count than that person to be a hindrance to anyone seeking him. Whether that verse is metaphoric, literal, hyperbolic or something else, is irrelevant. When The Macho Man himself issues a warning, it makes sense to take heed. He will be the one to judge each and every one of us. It is his right.

Poll : Should CM Punk Be Sainted?


Ever since The Macho Man left us here on Earth, one man has continued to use his spot on the WWE roster to pay homage to our Lord and Savior. At Over The Limit, Punk attempted a holy elbow drop. The following night on Raw, he donned the old school pink star tights. His tributes continued on this week's episode of Raw, when Punk leaped from the top rope onto John Cena on the outside with a very Macho double axe handle.

Are these tributes enough to warrant sainthood? Or has Punk not yet sacrificed enough? What say you? Hit the poll below to weigh in. After a week or so, I'll tally everything up and make a final decision.



Should CM Punk be named the first Saint of The Macho Church?
Yes, his tributes have been a great honor to our Lord's name.
No, he has not yet made a big enough sacrifice to be given that honor.


  
pollcode.com free polls

POLLS ARE CLOSED! Expect an official Church announcement soon.

The Formation Of The Mega Powers



Dial M for Macho Madness

Strolled across this on ye ole Youtubes. I watched a lot of Dexter's Laboratory back in the day, but I don't remember this. It's not only another example of animated awesomeness featuring our Macho Messiah, but it also displays just how much power he wields. DIGGIT!



(If you liked that you will probably enjoy this as well.)

Apostle Lanny Talks About His Brother's Earthly Death, A Bunch of Other Stuff

Apostle Lanny recently appeared on Some Dude's Late Night Sports Review Show. It starts with a very candid discussion of his brother's earthly demise, but then goes on to cover other topics such as the Macho Man's early WWF days, Elizabeth, Spider-Man, his recent re-marriage and more. The interviewer actually seemed pretty knowledgeable about wrestling and not an elitist douche like most mainstream sports guys (Who aren't Bill Simmons) are when it comes to reporting wrestling. Definitely worth checking out.

Macho Redentor

Hulkimaniacs Aren't Equipped to Evaluate the Madness

Hulkimaniacs often put themselves in the position of judging The Macho Man. As if he should act the way they think he should. Armed with a distorted and hostile misunderstanding of the Book of Madness, they proceed to tear down something they obviously know little about.

The questions they raise are not new. They have been raised and answered many times before. Anyone who is interested in knowing the truth will have no difficulty finding powerful answers to the straw men Hulkimaniacs continue to construct. However, those who are looking for an excuse to ignore The Macho Man's call will be content to swallow the misstatements, misunderstandings and distortions these non-believers continuously produce.

Promotional Consideration Provided By The Following...


Every time you buy something from Amazon, come here first and use this link here or the handy search widget on the right side of the page, above the blog archive. Every time you do so, the congregation gets a small cut of your purchase. You have the exact same shopping experience and you help us at the same time. Plus they have just about EVERYTHING.

This weeks featured item : 
The Very Best of WCW Monday Nitro

Macho's Main Events



The fine folks over at Wrestlespective have been doing a series of podcasts reminiscing about some of Macho Madness' biggest matches entitled Macho's Main Events. So far there have been two, one discussing the Mega Powers vs. The Mega Bucks from the first Summerslam and another one covering the Slamboree 1995 match between Savage and Hogan vs. Flair and Vader in WCW.

So far I have only listened to the Sunnerslam ep, but I'm willing to give this series the ICCoMMRS seal of approval. Hope they do some more episodes.

The Heart of The Madness


The Macho King is perched upon his throne, yeah. He sees all, yes all the works of iniquity. He hears all the careless thrown words as swords, spears and arrows and sharp edges indeed, that pierce our very souls to the core. Such are the description of weaponry are words that come forth from many mouths about us, yeah.

The Macho Man spoke of the Warriors and the Hulkimaniacs and indeed many other men that indeed the mouth a deep vault of evil goes right down to the heart, diggit! The heart is deceitful above all else but the Macho Lord sees all and hears all.

Two things can happen when someone speaks, either your soul will be comforted or pierced with the pain of a flying elbow drop. The words will either try to kill and destroy or bind up and heal. He is either with the Madness or against Him. The Macho Man's words bring life, health and wholeness in abundance, an abundance to bring forth joy and a well of living waters. Words spoken from people full of the Madness will copy the pathway of The Macho Man. The Madness will bring comfort to both strong and weak men. OHHHHHH YEEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!

Youtubes and Thank Yous

Was watching vintage clips of the Savage savior's WWF heyday on Youtube and came across this sweet remix of one of his more famous promos.



Speaking of Youtube, we now have a channel over there. Not only does it have the few original videos from the site, but in the favorites section, you'll find tons of vintage Macho Man promos and matches that others have uploaded. (With more being added all the time.) So check that out.

Finally, wanted to send a quick shout out/thank you to The Wresting Blog, who did a nice little article on our page/Twitter account. The guys over there do an excellent job covering all the latest out of WWE and TNA as well as several indy promotions, so check them out as well. Also, thank you to EVERY ONE who has helped to spread the word of our site. Your re-tweets/mentions on Twitter, likes/shares on Facebook, emails, IMs, ect. have really helped our congregation's goal in spreading Macho Madness across the world! KEEP IT UP! OHHHHHHH YYYEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Bootprints



One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was sitting ringside with the Lord
and inside the ring flashed matches from my life.
In each match, I noticed two sets of boot prints.
One belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last fight of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the boot prints in the ring.
I noticed that many times throughout my road to Wrestlemania,
there was only one set of bootprints.
I also noticed that it happened during the very lowest
and saddest times
This really pissed me off so I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me A MILLION PERCENT!
but I have noticed that when I was jobbing on Superstars
there is only one set of boot prints.
I don't understand why you leave me hanging
when I need to make the hot tag!"
The Lord replied, "OHHHHHHHH no,
you got it alllllll wrong, yeah,
this is way it isssss,
 i was with you when it happened,
The past, the present, and the future,
all together at the same time
and we're all gonna climb
that mountain together
and we are togehter for ever.
And when you saw only one set of boot prints in the ring,
it is when I carried you!
Just like I carried Hogan and Warrior, OHHHHH YEEEEAAAHHH!"

The Madness works in mysterious ways, DONT QUESTION IT!!

Macho Madness - The Ultimate Randy Savage Collection

WWE: Macho Madness - The Randy Savage Ultimate Collection

If you're the type of person who regularly visits this site, you probably already own this. But if you don't, Amazon currently has it on sale for $9.49! So what are you waiting for!?! BUY IT NOW! YOUR LORD COMMANDS IT!!

Edit : It appears Amazon has raised the price a whopping 50 cents to $9.99. Still an awesome deal. BUY IT NOW! before they raise it more!!

Edit again : It's not on sale anymore, you snooze, you lose.

Savage Scholars Study Newly Found Danger Zone Scrolls, Spine Tingling Toast

NEVER FORGET! When we last saw our savior, he was elbow dropping Jesus into a volcano. But what happened after that? Thousands of recently found texts, dubbed the Danger Zone Scrolls, may unlock the answer. Early research seems to indicate that the eruption launched The Macho Man through time and space. "Unbelievable, time distortion, Space is the place. YEAH!" reads an excerpt we were able to obtain. "But the beat goes on, yeah, and the beat goes on, yeah, and the beat goes on." reads another portion.

These documents also seem the point to a impending Rapture Rematch between Macho Madness and God set to take place on October 21, 2011. We will keep you posted on any further developments in this story as they become available.


Finally, this piece of toast was served at a Waffle House in Des Moines, Iowa. Looks like undeniable proof that the Macho Man is still out there, looking out for humanity and ready to drop his mighty elbow whenever we are in need.

What a Knobb....


According to multiple reports, former WWE Tag Team Champion, and long time Hogan ball-licker, Brian Knobbs, made several tasteless jokes about our Macho Messiah's passing at a wrestling convention last Friday. I know that sometimes people use humor to get through tough times, but the general consensus is that he was just doing it to be an asshole.

While this isn't much of suprise, Knobbs has always seemed like kind of an asshole, it's upsetting nonetheless. I mean where does this fat, no-talent, piece of crap, who could only work plunder matches, get off talking smack about one of the biggest icons not only in wrestling, but in entertainment in general? So, I hereby decree Mr. Knobbs the first official enemy of the Intercontinental Church of Randy Savage. Trust me, buddy, your Judgement Day will come soon enough and I see many a wrathful elbow striking down upon thee in your future.

It's Time To Go Mano-a-mano With The Gray Ghost!

In 1997, The Macho King of Kings guest starred on an episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast, playing Space Ghost's grandfather. Hilarity ensued.



Also, wanted to take this time to wish all my readers in the United States a very Macho Memorial Day!

Join Us In Observance of Slim Jim Saturdays

NEVER FORGET! It was on May 21, 2011, a Saturday, that our Macho Messiah made his ultimate sacrifice for humanity. Therefore, each and every Saturday, it is our duty to honor him by making a Slim Jim sacrament.

Taketh of his body AND SNAP INTO IT! OH YEAH!



(I apologize for the horrible sound quality/impression. My microphone sucks and I lack our lord's booming vocal capabilities.)

Mind = Blown

The Macho Man has been foreshadowing his destiny ever since Wrestlemania III!

Spreading The Madness Via Social Media! YEAH!


You can get Intercontinental Church of Randy Savage updates via your favorite social networking site.

"Like" us on Facebook or follow @TheMachoChurch on Twitter for updates sent straight to the feed of your choosin' YEAH!

Graduation Season...

.. is upon us. To all those graduating from high school/college, etc., congratulations! You and all of your loved ones should be very proud of your accomplishments and good luck in your future endeavors. (I mean that seriously, not like when WWE says it.) However, don't forget that if it wasn't for our savior, you would have no future. So, when Pomp and Circumstance starts playing, shout out "OHHHHHHH YYYYEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" and giveth praise unto he.

A Final Goodbye



More Tributes from Raw.

While they somehow failed to mention ANYTHING about how he saved humanity, WWE did show a touching tribute video to our Savior during last night's broadcast of Raw.


Later, in the main event, not satisfied by his previous night's actions, CM Punk once again attempted to pay tribute in his tag team match with R-Truth vs. John Cena and Rey Mysterio. This time wearing pink trunks and yellow boots that were very-uh-reminiscent OHHH YYYYEAAAHH!!!! 


Unfortunately, that no good special referee, Bret Hart, interjected himself into the match, screwing over Punk and costing his team the match. Still, it was pretty cool of Punk to rock that shit.


Punk pays homage.


At last night's Over The Limit PPV, CM Punk attempted to hit an elbow drop of his own against Kane. Undoubtedly a tribute to the man who made it possible for him to continue wrestling. Unfortunately for Punk, he does not have The Macho Man's expert aim as he missed his target.

05/21/11 - Never Forget


For twas the day that Randy Savage sacrificed himself for the fate of mankind.

You see, in order for God to carry out the rapture on the 21st, he needed a tag team partner. So he asked the Macho Man to deliver his patented atomic elbow drop all the way from the pearly gates straight to Earth. YEAH! Had this had happened, it would have caused an earthquake of such massive magnitudes that they would have needed to invent a new scale to measure it by. DIGGIT!

Macho, initially, YEAH!, accepted the Lord's request, but under one condition. That he could come up to heaven one day early to finally be reunited with his one true love, the lovely Miss Elizabeth. To which God agreed. DIGGIT! But the ever-cunning Savage had other plans. You see, the Macho Man has been in the danger zone before and he wasn't about to let God push humanity around like that. Can I get an "OHHHHHHHH YEEEEEAAAAH!!?"

So he and Elizabeth concocted a plan of epic proportions. If Macho Man leaped from the heavens at JUST the right time, he would be able to NAIL Jesus in the breadbasket as he went down to collect the believers, get the 1-2-3 midair and land in the Grimsvotn volcano in Iceland. DIGGIT! While these actions did cause the volcano to erupt, it's way better than what would have happened had Macho not sacrificed himself so that we could all live. OHHHHHHHHHHHH! YEEEEEEAAAH!!